On January 11, 2003, I walked down the aisle and married an amazing woman. At that moment I never imagined what the next twelve years would hold. I was having a hard enough time looking beyond the day, let alone imagining what the next dozen years would have looked like. I would imagine there are many couples who have been together over a decade who have experienced this.
While I can be a talkative person, I sometimes struggle with divulging what I am feeling. My wife may be embarrassed by this post, but it is one of best ways I know for me to communicate about any subject, but I would like to take some time and share some things about how my wife has changed my life as a result of our marriage.
What can you really say in a few hundred words about twelve years of marriage? I am not sure anyone is qualified to do something like that. The best I can do is talk about the various ways my marriage has shaped the man I am. Many people joke about trying to fix their spouses once they get married. I am sure my wife gave up attempting that a long time ago. However, she has done more to influence who I am than I even knew until I started preparing to write this post.
There are three ways my wife’s presence in my life has affected my life.
I can be a very impulsive. I prefer the word passionate, but either way, I have and hold deep convictions. I know who I am. I have taken time to discern and decide what I believe and why I believe what I do. This can rub people the wrong way. It has rubbed people the wrong over the course of my life. It is something that I have had to come to terms with. I sometimes think that people assume that I don’t know how I come across. For better or for worse, I do know.
The primary reason I know is because my wife has provided the balance I needed in my life. I may not always say it, but I value her thoughts. I may not always agree with her, and I do have my own counter-points, but I do listen. Even when I’m huffing and puffing, I hear what she says and it’s important to me.
This leads me to the second way my wife has impacted my life. Because of my strong personality I know some of the assumptions people make about me and how they prefer not to share what they are thinking with me. I am not good at subtle. I prefer to be direct and to the point. I also prefer for others to be direct with me. The bottom line is that if people are going to talk with me they need to know to not to be afraid of hurting my feelings. This is how I function and I try to share this with others so they know.
My wife is a gentle and shy person. In many ways, I can understand how people are surprised that we are a pair. We are very different. What most people don’t know is that my wife has an inner strength that she does not always show. She is so courageous. She has said things to me that needed to be said. Things that others would have been afraid to say. I have always respected her for this. I know it does not come easily to her, but she does it anyway. And for this I am grateful.
The third way my wife has affected my life is that she has an amazing heart. She is a very loving person. As I look back over the last twelve years I have come to realize that my love for my wife has grown in ways I cannot calculate. Her love is deep and abiding. It is a source of strength for me and our marriage. There are times when I wonder how it is possible for you to love someone for such a long time. I don’t have an answer for this mystery, but I think it has something to do with the fact that you can always learn something new about your spouse. And I do, all the time.
One of the things I love most are the little private moments that I get to see that nobody else does. It is one of the things that makes a marriage interesting. She is funny and witty. It can be annoying to, but I am the audience she chooses to share these moments with. I am very fortunate (even when I am not in the mood).
A Song for Miranda
One of my favorite country stars, Brad Paisley, wrote this beautiful song. While all of the facts are not true of my marriage to Miranda, the sentiment it shares mirror my own. Miranda, I love you and I look forward to many more years with you. I hope you are ready.